Who Wears Short Shorts?

Just because I'm single doesn't mean I'm dead.

I have red blood in my veins and nothing gets that blood racing like a good woman.
Well, I'm male so let's not lie.
Just about any woman gets my blood racing.
But that wasn't the point.

This summer the fashion was as little as possible.

The shorts were so short and tight that they were almost reclassified as briefs.
And the skirts were so short that they were more like handkerchiefs wrapped around and didn't even cover their smiles when they walked!

Well now for the Fall/Winter the fashions have warmed up a bit.
Now gals are wearing black panty hose as leggings slash pants.
And boots: cowgirl boots, knee highs, thigh highs, CFM, etc.
But wait, I glossed over the panty hose.

The "top" fashions are form fitting shirts, sweaters and coats that come to about the belly buttons.
So when these gals are wearing their panty hose pants, that's pretty much all you see:
Shirts and boots!

The panty hose is skin tight, ultra thin and getting to be almost sheer.
To the point that even the dark black hose still reveals that you can't even wear dental floss underneath.

Too much detail?
I agree.

Let me let you gals in on a little secret that juding by those clothing choices may not really be a secret.
That outfit isn't attractive, it's sexy.
What does that mean?

Attractive is the woman I eventually take home to mother and marry.
Attractive is what makes me want to take you out to dinner, movies, meet my friends, etc.
I find the women to whom I'm attracted, sexy.
But I don't find sexy women attractive.
Sexy is what makes me want to do wild monkey manuevers all night.
Things that I'm embarassed to talk about the morning after or even the split second before I saw you in that outfit.

Men see you half neekid like that and their blood starts pumping to all the wrong places.
I admit that those women are in great shape and that you can see all the shape they're in.
And I can truly appreciate those shapes.

But it's not attractive, it's sexy.
I look at those women with entirely different thoughts.
Thoughts that are putting me in the wrong frame of mind to consider anything other than where all my blood is racing.

I may just be getting old or conservative or I'm just growing wise and settled enough to know better: Aged and experienced enough to admit that while the female form is beautiful, it's best appreciated alone together and that there are ways to reward that behaviour which encourages it.

Blah, anyway - I'm off to the outside world to feel dirty and pervy just because I looked someplace other than at my feet and saw all the naked women parading around me.

Yeah, I'ma Single Guy.

Sing, Sing A Song...

The nice thing about being single is that there is nobody to give me grief about the songs I sing, the notes I miss and all the music I love!
The down side is that I have nobody to sing to.

I love music, I love to sing and I love to love.
Music and romance, music and love - music and life go hand in hand.
I've been DJing since I was a kiddo and I grew up to all the greats, all the classics.
All the old country love songs, all the southern rock love songs and even some of the newer stuff.
I heard it said that nothing new can be said that hasn't already been said in a song.
I believe that!
It seems that everytime somebody says something to me or I'm about to say something, a song pops into my head that goes with the saying.

And love songs...
My voice makes cats want to commit hara-kiri!
But I love to sing to...well...since I'm single there is nobody to sing to.

There are two songs I imagine myself singing and dancing to at my wedding.
I want hear/sing, "Lovely Day" by Bill Withers & "Forever & Ever, Amen" by Randy Travis.
I want to play my guitar and sing my heart out at my Bride.
And see how long I can go before the water works burst and I can't hold my composure.
That's Love I tell ya!
Then at our 25th anniversary I wanna look my wife in the eye at our celebration and sing and dance with her to George Strait's, "I just wanna dance with you."

Music and love go hand in hand and I love music and love.

But you know, I don't have to worry about that anymore.
Nobody is going to tell me I'm not going to sing that at her wedding.
Nobody is going to give me grief for my lack of vocal skills.
Or about my eclectic music taste.

Yeah, I'ma Single Guy.

Hey - What's The Rush?

The nice thing about being single is there's no pressure to just get down to business and have sex right away.

I know, right?
I'ma Single Guy and I'm saying, "Hey! I really don't miss all the Single Guy sex!"

Seriously, I'm straight.
o_O

C'mon admit it, you loved it too when we were younger and the thrill of dating wasn't about sex.
I loved going to movies, drive ins (yeah - I'm old!), going to malls, parks, shows, dinners, sports events, etc etc etc.
It was all about the conversations, the long letters, long phone calls.
Late night chats.
Getting all excited being with her and making out like teenagers (there's a reason that saying is what it is!)
Remember being on Cloud 9 just lying on a blanket by a lake (for me it was the beach) in the middle of the night, holding hands, staring at the stars, talking about crap that seemed important back then?

Who doesn't love sex but...

I'm not 17 anymore.
This is 2010 - folks no longer court, date, get to know one another.
It's all about how quickly they can get plastered and laid.
Boring!

Being single I don't have that pressure of having to have sex.
But neither do I get to enjoy all the romantic stuff; all the good stuff.

Yeah, I'm a Single Guy.

What The Heck Is That Smell?

The nice thing about being single is that my place smells clean...
Like Clorox, Lysol, Pine Sol and FeBreze.
The down side to being single is that my pillows, my shirts, my shower, my life doesn't smell all fragranty and flowery.

Guys, you know that smell.
When a gal first gets outta the shower, she's got that shampoo, soap, lotion smell.
All flowery, light, fragrant and fresh.
Then they take little spritz of pretty, light, powdery something on their wrists and a puff in the air for them to walk through.

There's nothing like throwing on a dress shirt, getting to work and smelling her frangrance.
Why is it that women love to wear our shirts?
Not that there is a single guy alive who minds it, we love catching that random whiff of you throughout our days.
Makes the heart grow fonder...

And buying my own girly perfume and spraying it around the house and on my shirts is no different than giving yourself a hickey.
Tacky to say the least.

But hey, at least I can tell when it's time to clean - when it no longer smells like cleaner!
Yeah, I'ma single guy!